Everything for a Reason

I have always been a proponent of "everything happens for a reason." I do believe there is a higher power at work that has a plan for my life. It is whether you believe or not it is the work or God or some other being of faith. There have been some major upsets in my life and generally I have been fortunate enough to know the reason for them. One of the major ones was me being denied college acceptance into Furman University. My whole high school career I "thought" I was destined for Furman. I knew that my life was supposed to follow a piano career and be a Paladin. Well that was short-lived when I received that letter of denial. I was crushed, beaten, depressed, and angry.

A few years later I understood why I was not supposed to go to Furman. I traveled with the A Cappella Choir of Carson-Newman College to Israel and sang in Bethlehem on Christmas Eve. That's right! The Holy Land, on Christmas Eve. One of the biggest events of my life. Because of the connections and sense of family of A Cappella, I knew that Furman was not right for me. I understand the reason for being denied acceptance into Furman.

This most recent upset in my life, I am still searching for a reason for this. This was a huge test of faith for me. I screamed, literally screamed, at my higher being of faith for letting this happen to me. I could not understand why Someone would let this much destruction and sadness happen to someone. I still do not really understand it, but I am seeing the type of person I am changing into.

I have become more of an accepting person. A person that is starting to love everyone. I used to be a very mean and "jerky" person that only accepted a small group of people. I would not hesitate on picking out the faults of the people "I could not stand." Through this whole ordeal I have learned to be very forgiving and to start loving people for who they are. I am starting to catch and correct myself when I say something bad about a person. I honestly believe that I am becoming a better person. About a few weeks after "that" day, I played for a church service, and I sat in the sanctuary, alone, pleading to God for a sign. I later took communion and cried for a new start and transparent happiness.

I do believe that my prayers were answered. This past week or so I have had moments of unbridled joy and happiness. I have seen what it truly means to be loved. I have also learned to never give up my faith. I was tested in a huge way, and I know now to never give up hope because there is a reason for all of it. Right now there are moments where I keep on getting beat down, but I remain strong. I have faith in every person and being. I have hope that things will be opened up and made clear for those I care for. I pray that every confusion and bad mark be taken away so that the only thing left is hope and love.

But the one thing I understand most is that we are all human. We have the capacity of infinite feelings. We have that free will to think and feel whatever we want. So I want you to think whatever you feel; live out your most undeniable human right. But all I ask is that you do not judge me for my thoughts and actions, for I will not do the same to you. I have learned that in order for me to feel better about myself, I must sacrifice my all to help anyone I can. That will never change now.

I know that in today's world religion and self-belief is a touchy subject, but it is something I had to say. I know some will side with me and some will not, but like I said, it is your undeniable human right decide for yourself.