I do not know what the heck is wrong with me. I do not know if it is my mind that is so overwhelmed, that my body has drastically changed, or if I slept too much when I was kid, but lately my sleep schedule has been jacked up. I am constantly waking up at the the break of dawn and then falling asleep well into the morning hours around 3 or 4. Ultimately giving me 3-4 hours of sleep every night. And even that 3-4 hours of sleep is convoluted with light sleeping and constant "wake-ups." I used to soundly sleep for 8-12+ hours at a time and never wake up in the night. I always slept like a rock wrapped in a steel box. Unable to be roused from my sleep.
Now I just don't sleep anymore. My conjecture for this problem is that my mind is so flooded with the recent events that I physically cannot get myself to rest. It is almost like I am afraid to sleep because my dreams give me false pretenses of a world that does not exist anymore. When I actually do wake up, I wake up happy but then I lose that feeling because I realize it was only a dream. I am actually finding myself having conversations with myself in my dreams. Saying: "you idiot, this isn't real. Stop being happy. It will never be like this again."
What the hell do I do? It is like I am thinking myself to death. I am truly my own worst enemy. Damn my overactive psyche...
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