My brain:
Severely complex, non-stop, overly critical, friend and enemy.
There are certain things in my life that really bring me to convene inside of myself. One certain thing happened tonight. I will not go into detail on exactly it is, because I do not want to give out the pathetic sob story it ultimately is. But no matter what, I am in constant war with my own self.
More and more, I am noticing nervous habits that seem to get worse as time passes by. I catch my body trying to fight its way through the gunk of thoughts my brain is trying to process. I catch myself literally talking and arguing with myself to sort for an answer. I honestly wish I could let my brain run free so that I would not have to be tortured by this continuous thought.
Am I insane? Indubitably. Well I would honestly believe so. I would like to think that I am a very smart person, but there are times that I honestly wish I was not so enlightened, if you will. For in ignorance there surely is bliss. I honestly believe in this statement. It is an "out of sight, out of mind" principle for me. If I ultimately do not know about something, my brain is free from trying to analyze it.
I am a very detailed person. I have been told I am an "observer." I sit back and try to figure out each detail to life, and how those details interact and how they affect one another. I systematically break everything down and find each detail. It is tedious and plaguing.
I am ready to be out of my own mind for awhile. I hate what all this thought does to me.
Fight for a better tomorrow
Hey man! How are you?! I've came to your blog while searching for some Calvin and Hobbes stripes. I like them very much, as you seem to do! I don't read all your posts. By chance I read this one, and I have to say, I saw myself in your words, considering this 'observer mode' thing. I think a lot to. And sometimes is exausting be like this. So, I'd like to sugest you a book to read, called "Get out of your mind & Into your life", wrote by Steven Hayes. You can get it from net, at pdf format if you will. I don't know if you like or not reading self help books, but in this case, I hope you read at least the first chapter. I think it could be interesting to you! All the best for you! Ps: sorry for my English. I'm Brazilian,
ReplyDeleteIf you want, send me an email, and I'll send you back the book file.
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