I try to play out each scenario in my head and figure out which is the best course of action to take. I literally will try to analyze every action that everyone around me takes and try to figure out the best way to respond. My brain definitely gets tired after awhile. But lately there has been one subject matter that I have been focusing a lot of lately: Friendship...
With every action that leads up to me moving away from Tennessee this coming summer (yes, it is true, that is for another blog), I keep on facing situations that really show who are true friends. I engaged in a conversation with a best friend about how some things always seem to be at face value. How I sit back, in a situation, and say to myself "I do not want to deal with this situation right now." And that situation being caught up with people that really do not know me.
I do not know whether it is my fault for not taking initiative or whether it is their fault because they are not taking initiative, but I find that when I look and analyze, nothing goes deeper than the surface. Almost every conversation seems at the "acquaintance" level. I would love to have something deeper, something more profound. Right now, I have that with one person. And ultimately that might just be enough, but for one person to have that responsibility to handle that much profoundness can really take a toll on someone's psyche.
Either way, the main point is that I really want to make those deep connections but something always gets in the way. I thank the person that I can share my thoughts with. Just being about to talk with that person gives me a great solace from day to day.
Fight for a better tomorrow
No comments:
Post a Comment