A whole new world unbeknownst to people...

Why heck yes, I did just use the word "unbeknownst." Kind of feel pretty regal and smart.

But to the matter at hand. I feel that people are unaware, or at least inexperienced to this world unseen. This world provides me with some of the best moments in time. But what is the world, you ask? It is the world that is shrouded by night time (dang, I feel like this blog is going to be a winner for big words).

Now I feel that night time has a huge negative connotation to its name. When you think of night time, you think of darkness, seclusion, and ambiguity. But for me it provides clarity. And I know that seems like an oxymora; clarifying darkness, but stick with me for a sec...

I am talking more about clarity of the mind. People have asked me, and I am thinking of one person in particular, why I seem to stay awake into the wee hours of the morning. My first response was that "I started it in high school, and my body has just adapted to it." Where that is true, I have actually come to a different, and deeper conclusion.

My greatest and most creative ideas and thoughts have come to me at night time, and I know the exact reason why. When you sit in your room at night, what do you hear? Do you hear the rustling of the animals outside? Or maybe do you hear the scurrying of the cars and trucks outside rushing to get to their next destination. You generally don't hear much (unless you live in New York City or something like that). You are in a still environment; a place where you can gather your thoughts and unwind from the busyness and energy of the daylight.

At this point in the day, my mind dives deep into itself and digs out some of the best ideas I can come up with. So I have figured out the main reason why I stay up late all the time. Because my mind is needing some quiet and reserved time to finally work for itself, instead of working for everything else.

Finally got one!

Great news!!!!!!!!

I finally got asked for an interview for a full time night job! Exactly what I was hoping for! It is at UT Medical Center as a Patient Access Clerk. It involves doing clerical grunt work but heck it is a job and I get to wear scrubs! Pretty good in my book!

So please send thoughts and prayers my way so that I can get this. Its perfect for what I need. I can still do band camp and teach private lessons while having this full time job. I could also still substitute and have this job too. GAH!!! I'm so freaking happy right now!

What an Idiot!!!!!!

So, I don't know if you have seen or have heard about Sarah Palin's recent statements, but Sarah Palin is now enemy number one in my book. I'm not one to really get involved with politics. Generally I let it be how it is. The people were chosen to be there for a reason. But I have just learned that Sarah Palin believes that the National Endowment for the Arts is a "frivolous" activity and should be cut to help reduce the national debt.

Now being a person that is heavily involved with the Arts and continuation of it, this statement has seriously pissed me off. With every other country besides ours they heavily promote the funding and creation of the Arts, she is saying to get the funding for it. What kind of message do you think sends? It has already been proven that having the Arts is a crucial aspect in brain and cognitive development, and is a milestone in intelligence. She really is a freaking idiot to get rid of something that helps our children become smarter and more engaging. I can't believe something like this would even cross someone's mind. This event really makes moving to a foreign country a whole lot more appealing. Even if I don't know the native language. At least I will be appreciated for the Arts education that I provide there.

Ups and Downs

It has been quite some time since I have last put my thoughts down. Bare with me, it might be a long one.

My first semester of my Masters was great but life changing. I learned so many things about the content and about myself. There are a lot of things I have to change about myself in order to get done as quickly as possible. But the true reason for this post comes with the change into the summer. I have had some serious ups, and some serious downs.

At the start of the summer I was planning on continuing my education, but fell flat on my face when I was denied financial assistance for the summer. Little did I know that graduate students are not offered federal assistance during the summer, so that put my plans back an entire year. Couldn't change that fact, hopefully I will see the reason for that sometime. I was also planning on using that financial aid refund to sustain me through the summer financially, since I don't get paid from the county during the summer. And well, I guess you can surmise where I am at right now. With sending job applications out every single day, I still come up short. Teaching private lessons only goes so far. So just like last summer, things will be difficult again, unless one of these jobs miraculously give me a call back.

But I will share at least some successes with you guys. My private lesson students have all been progressing very well. I keep pushing them and they keep pushing back. That's what I really love to see. They are adapting and learning and becoming very good. One of my Drum Major students blew me away. His improvements and drive to be better was more than I could ask for. He turned out to be freaking amazing in several aspects. Ultimately he was chosen to be one of the drum majors. A spectacular day for him and me! Another success is this next piece I am writing. The background material is "The Song of Azrael." The music for it has been absolutely amazing. I was able to write almost 7 minutes worth of music in two days. I know that I am just an instrument of creation for this music. Divine intervention plays a huge role for this piece. Oh, I forgot to mention, it is for string orchestra and SATB choir.

But like I said, things have been rough. They are close to outweighing the good right now. I try to keep an optimistic outlook on life but it is really hard when I see so many of my friends succeed, and I can't help to wonder "why am I in this situation?" This has been one long and enduring test. I don't know how much longer mine or Reese's stomachs can hold out for this test. I pray every day for help and peace of mind. I pray for a job, for security, for freedom. My faith is still alive, but I guess you have to suffer before you can get to paradise. I'm still hoping something will come through for me. After bills, there isn't anything left; it sucks. I know that I am not the only person in this situation; there are several others just like me, having the same plea. I know I took a lot of things for granted my college years. I realize I should have been different. But I am thankful for how it was, because it has turned me into what I am today.

And I guess I can share one more success. Its about connections. I have kindled up new friendships and rekindled up old ones. Found a new best friend who I know will be there till the end of days. In my book, nothing is more successful than having people by your side.