But this is the reason why I come back again to put my thoughts onto the world wide web. The silence that I continue to endure are having a profound on my psyche. I decided to title this post with the "Effect/Affect" because this murder seems to be taking two routes. Whether I want to go into extreme detail on both of those routes, I have not quite decided yet.
No matter what I continue to beat myself down for all of my mistakes. I am truly mentally breaking myself down to a lesser man because I am secluded to my thoughts on a daily basis. I work then come back home to my room and think. I think WAY too much. I wonder and dream WAY too much. For some odd reason, I continue to live in the past. I always tell people that everything is fated, and to never live in the past; to look forward to the future, and make the best of it. Why the hell can I not take my own freaking advice?
Being alone and lonely (they actually are too different aspects) are truly destructive. One of my life's mantras is to risk it all for the sake of others. I have truly risked it all, but I cannot pull myself out. I continue to be standoffish to certain things. I continue to doubt my decisions. I continue to live in my head, instead of living out in the world.
But no matter I have been fighting for that better tomorrow. I wish and pray every day for my own protection and happiness and their protection and happiness. I go through every day hoping one day we all do not have any worries.
Anyways, here is a little head scratcher for you: We, as humans, think every single day. We can hear ourselves in our heads and often talk with those voices in our heads (some people have more than others). But the brain itself has no physical capacity to make or hear sounds. So what exactly are we hearing when we think? Where are those "clearly audible" thoughts that we "hear" in our head coming from?
Just a little food for thought (oh dang...there is another conundrum)
Fight for a better tomorrow
